When Insults Had Class

I couldn't resist posting this...

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with
words was still valued, before a great portion of the
English language got boiled down to 4-letter words,
not to mention waving middle fingers.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said,
'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,' and he
said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will
either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable
disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether
I embrace your policies or your mistress.'

'He had delusions of adequacy.' - Walter Kerr

'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the
vices I admire.'
Winston Churchill

'A modest little person, with much to be modest
a bout.'
Winston Churchill

'I have never killed a man, but I have read many
obituaries with great pleasure. 'Clarence Darrow

'He has never been known to use a word that might send
a reader to the dictionary.' - William Faulkner (about
Ernest Hemingway).

'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come
from big words?'
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll
waste no time reading it.' Moses Hadas

'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea
of any man I know.'

Abraham Lincoln

'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter
saying I approved of it.'
Mark Twain

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his
friends.' - Oscar Wilde

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my
new play; bring a friend.... if you have one.' -
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend
second... if there is one.' - Winston Churchill, in
response.

'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like
having you here.' - Stephen Bishop

'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' -
John Bright

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's
nothing trivial.' - Irvin S. Cobb

'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of
dullness in others.' - Samuel Johnson

'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.'
- Paul Keating

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation
won't cure.' Jack E. Leonard

'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.' -
Robert Redford

'They never open their mouths without subtracting from
the sum of human knowledge.' - Thomas Brackett Reed

'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always
yielded easi ly.'
Charles, Count Talleyrand

'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.' -
Forrest Tucker

'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without
any address on it?'
Mark Twain

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the
stork.' - Mae West

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others,
whenever they go.'
Oscar Wilde

'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses
lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.' -
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' - Billy Wilder

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this
wasn't it.' - Groucho Marx